Is it Ever Okay To Lie?

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 Hi,

It is a beautiful Thursday morning. I hope you enjoyed it.


I have a question for you, Is it Ever Okay To Lie? This is the question that recently came up when a close friend asked my opinion about it. Assuming that I would naturally say NO to this question, it is never okay to lie. I am also not advocating it; to be clear,  I am not suggesting it is a good thing :-)

Of course, we should always try to lean into the truth. But I feel like it is not always black and white. It is not always relatively so straightforward. I was reminded of a story told to me by my grandfather when I visited my village. I will try to keep it short. He was talking about a man who had had an affair with this lady, and the ladys' husband was chasing after him through the village. And this monk had given him shelter in his small home. This man came to the door and said: " I am looking for this person who had an affair with my wife. If I find him, I am going to kill him." The monk thought that he had taken a vow not to lie and always be honest. At the same time, if he told the truth, this man would barge past him, he would undoubtedly kill the adulterer, and who knows what he might do to the monk himself. The monk thought that this man was going to kill, but he would also harm himself with this negative Karma. So the monk decided not to tell the truth. 


I have found myself in this grey area in several incidents. I have, like the monk, abstained from telling the truth. Because of the emotional damage, it might cause to the other person at the moment. But there is always a time when you can come out clean.


The empathetic response is way more important than telling the raw truth. I wonder, in life, of course, we should always try whenever possible to better others and ourselves, not harming others, not hurting ourselves. Sometimes there is room to recognize the grey areas and perhaps lean into those opportunities where we have a chance to help others feel better, even if it is not strictly true at the time.





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