What are you holding on to?

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I hope you had a great weekend.

Today we will focus on how we can let go of grudges. How we can find a place of forgiveness in our life?

Yesterday I was reading the news and I was baffled by a particular story of a driver who was involved in an accident. He was with his entire family on a road trip. Both of his children and his wife were killed in the accident. Reading this story suddenly jolted me out of myself. This made me realize that even if I live to the ripe age of eighty, there are not that many days left. Most of us live our lives like we have an infinite amount of time on this planet. Anyways coming back to the story, this driver was talking about how in the moment he was immediately able to forgive the other person who hit their car. I think the idea to forgive the other person immediately is almost unthinkable (If you ask me, I have had kept grudges for petty things for too long.). The idea to me is extraordinary. He said that the reason that he was able to forgive was that when he was younger, he was actually involved in an accident where he had killed somebody and that family had forgiven him and enabled him to go on in his life. I am thinking about that ripple effect of how we may forgive one another over time. Of course, we will not always be in such extreme circumstances. It reminded me of my last conversation with a friend. She was a cheerful girl before her boyfriend cheated on her. After this event, she changed completely. She became sort of recluse and cynical. She used to say stuff like “all men are bad”. Even years after their separation she was distraught. She told me that she stayed miserable in most of her college years as well. She talked about how over time she had replayed that story in her mind so many times, the feeling of bitterness and hostility towards her ex. It almost created a groove in her mind. It had got to a point where she wasn’t even aware of those thoughts. It kind of became who she was. It wasn’t until she had taken some time out and detached herself from the negative thought loops that she eventually started seeing it a bit more clearly and realize the damage that event has done to her life. Carrying that heaviness with her and that hostility and anger eating away at her. After some introspection, she came to a point where she could clearly see her thoughts from a vantage point. She experienced a mind free of hostility and anger. She is no longer carrying that weight around with her.

This happens with all of us whether it's something as big as the loss of someone or something much smaller that lasts a few days, we tend to hold on to these things. We tend to find it difficult to let go of these things. I am reminded of that old saying when we carry a grudge with us, we create the poison of revenge and then we drink it ourselves. We suffer ourselves when we hold on to things in that way.

So my hope is as we are heading into a new week, we might find an old situation something that happened in the past that we might still be holding on to in some way. I hope you find that space in your mind to let go of it. In forgiving that person (not excusing their behavior mind you), we will find a greater sense of peace in our lives. When you will be at peace people around you will also feel at ease around you and you will be able to give your 100 percent in everything.   

Relax and let go.

 


 

 

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