Solving Problems

The other day, I woke up in a truly lousy mood and was immediately hit with several small problems in my inbox. My mood amplified these issues, making them seem like minor emergencies. Later that day, I was having lunch with a friend and started complaining about these problems. My friend said two things that were extraordinarily wise, illustrating the psychological value of good company and the importance of having a certain mindset. 

After hearing me out, she first said, "None of these problems seem that big, or you can easily deal with them. So, do you really want to be this stressed out right now?" Of course, this was a rhetorical question. I knew the answer was no, and she was simply right. She reminded me that I could be mindful of my thoughts and emotions, like a perpetual motion machine of dissatisfaction. She was reminding me that I could give them space and achieve real equanimity in the present, regardless of these problems. However, without knowing how to meditate, it's challenging to do that. You need to find some way to think yourself into a new state of mind. You have to start solving the problem to get off the ride. But if you can be mindful, you can change your state before solving your problem, finding a place of optimism about the future. 

The real issue was that I wasn't paying close attention to the mechanics of my own mind. I was the problem. My lack of attention was the real proximate cause of my unhappiness. My own happiness was driving me to brood about my problems. But then she addressed my situation on a conceptual level, which is often more useful. Simply reminding someone to be mindful doesn't prevent them from falling back into the same pattern of thinking later. A new framework to think about a problem can help. So, she said, "Were you really expecting to have no more problems at some point in your life? Are you going to wake up one morning and find nothing on your to-do list? Do you actually want nothing on your to-do list? Life is mostly about solving problems, and you can solve these."

My real problem was treating problems as anomalies. I tacitly assumed I should be able to get rid of all my problems and avoid any new ones, even though this is ridiculous. This assumption influenced my thinking and emotional life, affecting how I met each new problem. But of course, I can never get to a place where problems stop appearing, and neither can you. Life is an unending series of complications. It doesn't make sense to be surprised by the arrival of the next one. The magnitude of the problem might surprise you, but new complications in your life are expected. Very soon, some machine you rely on for work or comfort will break. This is guaranteed. You will also catch a cold, your plane will be late, or your luggage will get lost in near distant future. At some point, you will injure your knee and need to see a doctor. It can't be any other way, and expecting otherwise is a great source of unnecessary suffering. This suffering makes it harder to solve the problems we face. Ironically, this is a problem you can solve by expecting more problems to arise every day of your life. 

It's like playing a video game. Did you expect a level without problems? How boring would that be. This is the game of existence; problems continually arise, so enjoy them.